


Bones Bones Bones

by LadyLustful



Category: Bones (TV), Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Casual Sex, Consensual Sex, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, Het, Human Culture, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pon Farr, Puns & Word Play, Shameless Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Vulcan Biology, Vulcan Tempe, pizza and a movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:42:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22318039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLustful/pseuds/LadyLustful
Summary: Leonard McCoy meets a Vulcan scientist who needs some help.Or, Tempe and Leonard have sex because they are hot and the title is punny.Pwp folks. Pon Farr, but with, like, explicit consent.
Relationships: Temperance Brennan/Leonard McCoy
Kudos: 9





	Bones Bones Bones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FakeCirilla9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeCirilla9/gifts), [Karla1209](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karla1209/gifts), [Dana123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dana123/gifts).



T'empe is a Vulcan scientist sitting next to him at a interplanetary anthropology conference. And if women are infuriatingly illogical, cold, logical Vulcan women are somehow worse. By the third day he will be glad to never see her again and he is convinced she thinks worse of him. Except, on the night of the third day, so late it's almost the fourth, he finds her standing on the doorstep of his hotel room, flushed green under her palor and dressed in nothing but a long, thin nightdress under a artfully woven shawl (the thing clings, okay?).  
"I have an... intimate request. May I come in?"  
He waves her in, shutting the door behind her, then fixes her with a questioning look.  
"Well?"  
"My... time of madness is approaching. I would require a partner."  
"Why me? You can't possibly like me."  
"You are intelligent, in good physical condition, currently unattached and not physically unattractive. But it's okay if you refuse, I have several more hours and candidates."  
"Fine. I'll do you. What kinda gentleman would I be to refuse?"  
"Excellent. In the meantime I believe I would like a firsthand experience of human courtship rituals."  
"Dinner and a movie is the most classic one. Vegetarian, right? You like spicy food?"  
She nods, and McCoy flashes her a smile a somewhat rusty flirty smile.  
"Hot vegetarian pizza with extra cheese for a hot vegetarian, coming right up."  
  
The pizza comes from the hotel kitchen, not the replicator, with a crunchy, thick crust and thick, stringy cheese offset by the sharp sourness of the tomato sauce, tiny pieces of chilli bursting hot under her teeth, teasing her already Pon-Farr-sharpened senses. There's wine, too, a light dry white one, and an assortment of snacks and finger foods, and she doesn't know it the human doctor arranged it so on purpose, but there is nothing they can't eat with their hands and the only thing more arousing than watching him lick dip off his his fingers is the way she feels licking her own. She can't possibly focus on the movie, as much as it would normally interest her, and by the time the end credits roll with the sweeping music, she is so wet she might be dripping and so aroused she might cry with desperation. She pushes the tray of food further onto the coffee table, leans in to kiss him, desperate, all tongue and teeth and hands in each other's hair.  
"Bed. Now", she manages, once they break for air.  
"Fuck the bed, I can fuck you right here."  
She growls her assent and kisses him again.  
They strip hurriedly, T'empe's dress landing behind the couch, McCoy's buttons lost to Vulcan strength, and then they are kissing, groping, McCoy's fingers pinching her nipple hard, T'empe rubbing against his thigh, and then McCoy's kissing down her neck, infuriatingly slow under the circumstances.  
"Fuck foreplay, fuck me now", she echoes his words, and he smiles.  
"How?"  
She flips them over, until McCoy is sitting on the couch and she in his lap, straddling him, grips his cock, giving a thought to how good it feels under her stroking fingers before pushing down on it, sopping wet, hungry and overwhelmed, setting up a brutal rhythm that might give the human man bruises later.  
"Like this, Leonard. Fuck me like this."  
Her hands are roaming, gripping hips and shoulders, an absent-minded cataloguing of anatomy background to her chasing of release; his hands come up to her ass, long, blunt fingers splayed over pale, round, cheeks, digging into firm flesh, a perfect counterpoint to the cock driving into her wet, oversensitive heat, hitting her cervix in a way that would normally feel uncomfortable but now feels perfect. He bucks his hips, pulls her down hard on every thrust, a harsh pressure on her hips that serves to drive his cock deeper into her, her dripping pussy lips slapping against his hips as she rides him.  
They don't last long this round. The pleasure is too intense, too raw, T'empe's nerves and body too sensitive from Pon Farr and anticipation. Leonard hits her g-point, again and again deep and hard, making her come, screaming her rapture insensately, and once she's coming, she's coming, over and over, cunt spasming around his cock, milking his cock till he comes as well, filling her up, hot and wet and sticky-slick and absolutely wonderful. She's still shivering with the pleasure when she slides off his lap to slump beside him on the couch, somehow managing elegance even in fucked out bonelessness.  
"I think you fucked my brains out", sighs McCoy.  
"That is not physically possible. But I agree the sex was excellent", replies T'empe, reaching for the pitcher of water and glasses.


End file.
